Six different foster parents share how they turn goodbyes into celebratory moments with fun traditions, adoption rituals, and meaningful mementos.
Featuring stories from…
Ana Pulido – @can.i.pet.your.foster.dog
Bailey Spiteri – @whatisbaileydoing
Leslie Harris – @allyoftheday
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This episode was written and produced by Stacey Axelrod. Kate Trahan is our Assistant Producer. Sarah Brasky is our Editorial Director. Music by Jared Dymbort.
Why We Foster was created by NYC Pet Photographer Stacey Axelrod and brought to you by Foster Dogs, the leading organization in creating positive, inclusive foster communities.
Support the show with a donation to Foster Dogs!
Transcript:
Stacey Axelrod: Hello and welcome to Why We Foster, the podcast all about the pet foster community. I'm Stacey Axelrod and I have spent the last decade working and volunteering with non-profit organizations like the ASPCA, Best Friends Animal Society, and the organization that is sponsoring this podcast: Foster Dogs!
I usually play the role of photographer, which puts me in the unique position to witness, document, and share every aspect of animal rescue: from dog fighting busts and puppy mill raids... to fancy fundraising events and countless adoption portraits. I have learned so much from these experiences and I love being able to share that through photography, videography... and now, podcasting!
When I started volunteering with Foster Dogs in 2015, I met a bunch of people who seemed to have a new dog in their apartment every week and I was totally fascinated. I frequently found myself putting down my camera for long periods of time so I could just stop and listen to all the stories about their foster pets.
One of those people is Ana Pulido, a dear friend of mine who recently said goodbye to New York, the place where she provided a home for many foster pets on their journey from shelter to adoption.
Ana Pulido: We decided during the pandemic to move out here to be a little closer to my family and have some sunshine and, you know, have a go at trying to work in rescue full-time. I will be doing adoptions for Wags and Walks. It's a private rescue out here in LA. And, well, I started a week ago and it's very exciting. My days at the center are filled with dogs and it's fantastic. I get to just kind of pick a dog and have them working next to me for the afternoon. And, it's just so great to watch everybody come and pick out their dog and take them home.
Stacey Axelrod: I talked with Ana shortly after she had completed a five day cross-country road trip with her husband Chris and their adopted pets: Simcoe the dog and Nibbler the rabbit. Together they fostered over 20 puppies in their Brooklyn apartment, and they plan to open up their new home in Los Angeles, too.
Ana Pulido: Oh, absolutely. That's not a question. Yes, I will absolutely keep fostering.
Stacey Axelrod: When I asked Ana if it ever gets easier to say goodbye to foster pets, she started thumbing through a photo album she made about their foster experience in New York.
Ana Pulido: So, so I made this book before we left New York to, kind of, commemorate all of the foster dogs that I've had in New York and just filled it with pictures of all of my babies. I'm looking back at photos of all of my foster dogs right now to kind of remember what it was like at the beginning.
And our first foster dog, oh my God, we still regret saying goodbye to him, cause he would have been perfect. But, all of these dogs that I'm looking at were a handful and a half, but I'm pretty sure I asked my husband if we could keep every single one of them. I fell in love with all of them, all these puppies. And it's just so much fun to, like, hang out with them, bring them into bed, cuddle them, watch them play with the rabbits and fall asleep. It's really special.
So to answer your question on how I say goodbye: I, I cry every time. I think I'm getting better at not openly bawling on the street. So that was the first couple of them, when I gave them up at adoption events, it really was like open crying on the street because I missed them so much already. You know, I can be sad and miss them all I want, but I know that they eventually go to really great homes.
The sense of satisfaction and pride that you get when you see their adopters pick them up and be so excited. And the dogs, of course, you know, I like to think they'll miss me, but the dogs immediately take to their new families. And, just to know that you had a little bit of a part in that, to bring another family joy, is just... I think that's what makes it worth it. And I think pictures are the way that I cope with saying goodbye to them because I get to keep them here with me forever.
Stacey Axelrod: Almost everyone I talked to had some sort of tradition to celebrate each adoption from their foster home. Lots of foster parents told me about their special collections of photos or mementos, each one representing a different foster pet and a different story. Here's Bailey who you might remember from our previous episode.
Bailey Spiteri: Yeah, so I usually keep their tag. I have a necklace with all their tags.
Stacey Axelrod: Those are the little stories that made me put down my camera and just listen. And those are the people and the stories that inspired this podcast.
Every so often here on Why We Foster, we're going to reach out to you, our listeners, our supporters, and the entire animal rescue community to get involved by sharing stories, questions, thoughts, and ideas for the show. Then we'll feature a selection of submissions in these special bonus episodes.
We even have some very special guests lined up to host some of these bonus episodes. First up is Kate Trahan, our amazing assistant producer, who has been working very hard behind the scenes to help launch this show. Take it away, Kate!
Kate Trahan: Thanks Stacey, and hello Foster Friends! I'm Kate, and I'm a huge fan of Foster Dogs Incorporated. I’m also a brand new volunteer joining the team from my home in southern Massachusetts. When I heard that Foster Dogs was starting a podcast and looking for volunteers, I immediately jumped at the opportunity to get involved. I don’t actually know that much about fostering yet, but I have always been an animal lover and I love the Foster Dogs mission. I currently work in marketing and if my voice sounds familiar, it's because I also co-host a podcast about front-end web development called PodRocket.
In the first episode of Why We Foster, we talked about the number one reason why people don't foster: The fear of getting too attached to your foster pets and the difficulty of saying goodbye when they get adopted. We have received some really great responses to that episode and we love seeing the conversation continue within the animal rescue community. Some of our favorite responses came in through our voicemail and we're so excited to share those with you today.
Leslie Harris: There are two rituals we have around fostering that make it a good experience, and also something to look forward to.
Kate Trahan: That's Leslie Harris, the senior dog enthusiast from episode one who told us about saying goodbye to her first foster dog, Honey, and how these "happy rituals" have helped reframe the way she thinks about fostering and also her role as a foster parent.
Leslie Harris: So the two rituals we have are: One, they graduate, right? So we have a little graduation party for them, and it might just be like they get extra snacks or we buy them extra treats or they get a little Puppaccino or something like that. And you're like, you're graduating, you're graduating! And that, I think, also reinforces to us, like, don't be sad. This is a really happy, positive thing for the dog, and you should be happy too.
And then the second thing is we toast the dog. So we'll, you know, Jake will make drinks or we'll open a bottle of wine, or go out to eat and we'll order something, or you know. Just having those two really positive rituals puts a frame on the whole experience that's positive.
Kate Trahan: Next we have a message from Abby Bramnick, another Foster Dogs volunteer who got involved after adopting her dog Henry from the organization in 2018.
Abby Bramnick: So I've been fostering for maybe about two years ish, but I've had a bunch of fosters. And I'm always asked that question by people I know, people who see me regularly with my fosters and say, how do you, you know, how do you say goodbye to them? How do you, don't you get attached?
And I think my answer is always sometimes and kind of, because I think, I do get attached in a certain way. Some I get attached to more. Others, not so much. Depending on their needs and how much I needed to work with them to gain their trust, to even train them a little, to teach them that humans are safe, and that being in a home is safe, and teaching them what love is. And sometimes the more I'm having to work with them, and the more I see them grow, of course, I love them. I love every single one. And some, yeah, it's really harder, it's harder to let go.
But I think at the end of the day, my goal walking into it is finding them the best home and making sure that they're ready for their forever home, and that they're ready to receive love. Even if they're still not sure, they're, they're in a better place for that. And I think it's, yeah, a mindset.
However, my first, no, maybe my second foster? Oh my God. I fell in love with him. He was this Jack Russell mix or something. He was a senior, he was magical, and I really questioned adopting him. But I have two dogs already and I couldn't, you know, I couldn't have three. I think at the end of the day, it's about the dog and if I'm not the right fit for him or her because I don't have the capacity to take care of them fully, then I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to… Yeah. I'm not... just because I want them in my life.
So I think honoring the emotions that come with saying goodbye is really important, so I do that and I get sad. And also doing something special with my dogs and thanking them. And my tradition is always getting them toys, which, uh, they don't, they don't know that's the tradition, but they like it anyway! And thanking them for being the best foster brothers, cause out of anybody in this house, they teach the, the fosters the most.
So, all right. That is it. It's Abby! Okay, bye!
Elizabeth Irwin: Hi, my name is Elizabeth Irwin, I'm a foster dog mom, and I am on my 13th foster. Saying goodbye is definitely hard, but I also have, as you mentioned, um, I have some rituals. One of them is that before they go, I make sure I spend some time sitting down and having what I call The Conversation with them. In this conversation, I tell them that I made sure that they are going to a great home and that no matter what, they will never be homeless again, because if anything were to happen, they can come back to my home anytime. And I tell them how special they are and all the things that I've enjoyed about our time together. And I make sure I send them to their new home with some of their favorite toys or blankets, whatever it is.
And then I also have on my wall one of the little letter boards where I put each of the foster's names. And on my Instagram account, I always do two posts. One is an adoption announcement sharing where they're going, who they're going to. And then I also write a second one, which, in which I write about what they've taught me, because each one always teaches me something different. Thank you.
Kate Trahan: I am so happy to share that Elizabeth's thirteenth foster dog Cochi just got adopted! You can see Elizabeth's two posts about Cochi's adoption on her Instagram at @adoptabullpup. That's adopt a bull, B-U-L-L, pup.
Our final voicemail today comes from someone who we cannot wait to interview for an upcoming episode of Why We Foster. Avery has said goodbye to 11 foster dogs so far... but she's only 8 years old! Here's how she celebrates each adoption:
Avery Burton: Hi, my name is Avery Burton and here's how we make saying goodbye to our foster dogs a little easier. We send a special photo of our dogs to Snapfish and when I get them back, I hang them on my wall to remember them. I have 11 dog pictures on my wall and I get to see them every day.
My favorite dog was Lucille. She was a Cane Corso. I loved giving her cuddles and she was the biggest sweetheart in the world. It was hard saying goodbye, but I know Lucille is in a great home and so are all of my other foster dogs.
And now I'm fostering nine dogs! Well, technically, they're eight puppies and their mom, but still! In a few weeks, they'll be big enough to be adopted. And I'm excited for them because I know they're going to find loving homes. I introduced the puppies to my class and we picked out names for them. Their names are Peach, Plum, Oreo, Avocado, Cinnamon Mocha, Rosemary, Milky, and Kiwi!
It's sometimes sad to see them go, but I'm always excited for my next foster dog. We have fostered 20 dogs so far, and fostering is the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. Follow me on Instagram at @AverysFosterLife. Bye!
Stacey Axelrod: Wow, how awesome is Avery? Eight years old and she's already fostering a whole litter of puppies. Check out the Why We Foster Instagram for some adorable pictures of those puppies, as well as a video version of Avery's message, where you can see the photos of former foster dogs that decorate her room.
If you have any questions or comments about something you heard on the show or a story to share for an upcoming episode, please send us a message or give us a call. The Why We Foster voicemail is available 24 seven for anyone, anywhere who has anything to share about fostering. Simply call 929-FOSTER-2 and leave a message. That's 929-367-8372. You can also record your own audio and email it to us or share something on Instagram with the hashtag #WhyWeFoster.
Special thanks to our guest host, Kate Trahan, and everyone who called in to share a story for this episode. You can find additional info about all the people you heard on this episode at WhyWeFoster.com.
Stacey Axelrod: Thanks so much for tuning in to Why We Foster. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe now. If you really enjoyed the show and you want to show some love to our volunteer production team, we would appreciate your support with a rating or review on your podcast app of choice! Why We Foster is available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you know someone who might enjoy the show, please share it with them and help them subscribe! You can also follow us on Instagram at @WhyWeFoster and visit WhyWeFoster.com for more info about the show.
Why We Foster is produced by me along with Foster Dogs Incorporated, the leading organization in creating positive, inclusive foster communities by providing support, experience, and innovative programs. You can follow Foster Dogs on Instagram at @FosterDogs and please consider supporting this incredible non-profit in whatever way you can at FosterDogsNYC.com.
Kate Trahan is our Assistant Producer and Sarah Brasky is our Editorial Director. You can find me at petphotographer.nyc or on Instagram at @nycpetphotographer. I'm Stacey Axelrod and this is Why We Foster. Farewell for now, Foster Friends!
